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MIDLIFE FREEDOM"If everyday is an awakening, you will never grow old. You will just keep growing." |
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Are you a mature woman still waiting to have the time of your life?
Caring for others may seem like an
obstacle......
If you work, have responsibility for family
members, are facing an empty nest, or looking towards
retirement, you may be feeling hesitant or guilty about
saying "no" to other people's expectations of how you should
spend your time and energy.
The pressures on midlife women are not
imaginary. Women are often expected to be major
caregivers in our society. Constantly striving to meet
the needs and expectations of others can set women up to
lose touch with themselves.
Feeling responsible or unduly influenced by
others can really get you down. You can feel trapped,
angry and resentful, even despairing of ever having what
you want.
If this is true for you...know that there
are ways to transform your experience......
Midlife women have
unique opportunities to claim their lives in ways
that seemed impossible when they were younger.
Sometimes realizing that "time is running out" can be a
powerful motivator. Plus, older women often have more
resources than they had when they were younger.
Consider what it would be like to greet
everyday as a blessing! Imagine having the
freedom to do what is important to you. What a
joy that would be!
If this seems like a pipe dream, it's not.
Reclaiming choice, identifying what you need and going after
it assertively can make you come alive. Reviving a
neglected dream can lift your spirits and make you feel that
you are "flying in your own sky".
Other people have claimed their dreams and
you can, too.
Women like Roberta (not her real name)
have found that they can claim their lives and realize
dreams they thought were long ago laid to rest. This is her
story:
As a stay-at-home mom, Roberta decided it
would be best for her family if she started a home-based
business.
While her husband rose in his career, he called upon Roberta to be "the back-up person" for any emergency, household repair or family need. He often felt required to put in extra time at work, without interference from household or family obligations. Also, the family income needed the extra boost she provided. But, while her kids were growing up, Roberta found herself often becoming resentful and depressed, lacking a sense of joy and purpose in her life. When she reached midlife and her kids started to leave home, she knew it was time to seek counseling. Roberta began to address her feelings of resentment and grief and her lack of joy and purpose. She began to look at things in a new way. Of course as a child, Roberta had naturally wanted to be loving and sensitive to the needs of others, but as an adult the old habits of care giving were interfering with what she wanted to do. This automatic response frequently contributed to her feelings of resentment and depression. There were times when she said "no" that she found herself feeling guilty. Sometimes she did what others wanted at the expense of her own needs and self-esteem. Through counseling, she realized that since she was a young girl, she felt a strong sense of duty, but this was not working for her now. Her kids were grown and she longer wanted to take care of others and sacrifice her own needs. Nor did she need to. |
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Now was her opportunity to seek her own fulfillment in ways that seemed like a nagging sense of lack or a distant dream while she was raising her family. Roberta claimed a lost dream and made new choices......
when she worked on dreams as a part of her
therapy, it came as somewhat of a surprise when different
arts and artistic settings began to appear in many of her
dreams. Sometimes they featured artists she knew.
Roberta, began to realize that the dreams revealed the love
of doing art she had as a child. She remembered many
times longing to become an artist. Before she married,
she even took art instruction, thinking someday she might
pursue her desire.
In working on her dreams, Roberta realized that the passion
she had for art had not and would not
die, even though she considered it impractical. After
all, her family and her husband had told her she would
"never make any money at it" and she convinced herself they
were right.
As her therapy progressed, Roberta began to
own her artistic self and eventually claimed a new sense of
passion and purpose in spite of others' and her own belief
that she would never make any money doing art. Still
feeling guilty, but with support, Roberta was able to
negotiate with her husband to give up her home business and
find time to paint during the day.
She continued to pursue her passion until she
became confident enough to enter her paintings at a local
art gallery. Roberta was there to greet the friends
and neighbors she invited to the opening reception of the
new show where she was a featured artist. That night
she was delighted when she sold her first painting for a
reasonable sum, finally contradicting her long-held belief
that "you can't make any money" doing art.
You may think "I will never be strong
enough to do exactly what I want instead of what others
need or expect."
You may feel compelled to meet others' needs
contrary to your best interests. You may fear their
reactions if you say "no". Be assured that I will not
ask you to do anything you are not ready or don't want to
do. My intention is to create an environment of safety
and empathy for you, so that you can make any changes at
your own natural pace.
You may believe that your feelings of
depression, resentment or anger are of such long standing
that it is hopeless to try to change.
You may beat yourself up or feel that
something is wrong with you for feeling the way you do.
Yet, you do have the capacity to change and grow in spite of
how you may feel. My belief is that depression,
resentment, and anger are the result, not the cause, of your
unmet needs and that these emotions will clear when you are
able to take incremental steps towards fulfilling your needs
and developing a sense of purposeful living.
Possibly you fear that the cost of therapy
or classes would be too much.
Since I ask my clients to pay out-of-pocket,
because I do not take insurance, I also keep my fees
affordable. And let me remind you that investing in
your own personal growth is like investing in higher
education. What you gain can never be taken away from
you and you can actually increase your ability to
create abundance in ways you might not expect.
I am confident that emotional freedom is
possible.
I know what it's like to be overly
responsible. At a young age, I was left with the
responsibility to care for my two younger siblings and an ill,
single mother. I know what it is like to feel trapped,
unable to focus on one's self, and to live with expectations
that never seem to end. I also know how to establish
boundaries, resist taking too much responsibility for
others, and take a stand for my own fulfillment and dreams.
This gives me a unique perspective in working with women who
have lost contact with their center and deny themselves what
they need and want.
If you are longing to develop a stronger
sense of your own value, power, meaning, love, creativity
and spirituality, I will be glad to offer my services to
you.
How do I know if you are the right
therapist for me?
Quite frankly, you don't and I don't, either.
That's why I offer a free consultation to see if we are a
good fit for working together. I always encourage you
to do what's best for you.
You may be asking yourself......"So
what's my next step?" Also, I offer classes and groups on a variety of topics. Click on the Classes and Groups if you would like to find out more. If you may also inform me if you would like to receive e-mail updates on any new offerings.
Thank you for visiting my website.
Sincerely yours,Janice Lynne |
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Creating, LLC | 218 South Washington | Fort Collins, CO 80521 | 970-482-5298|
janice@midlifefreedom.com
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